Grantville Gazette 37 gg-37 Read online

  "Would you?" Johann asked.

  "No." Of course he wouldn't give away information like that. It'd be worth a fortune. He hastily skimmed through the articles in the journal, looking for anything that might cast light on the question of how it was done, and more importantly, how long it would be before the technique was available for everyday use.

  "You can stop hunting. Everyone has already looked, and there is nothing about the method in that issue."

  Zacharias quickly checked the publication date-January, 1636. The Proceedings were published three times a year, so that meant the next issue wouldn't be out until May. "A letter to the doctor asking about the technique's application to Kirlian imaging is definitely indicated."

  "Already decided while you were playing with the aqualator," Johann said. "Martin Zankel has been told to write a letter on behalf of the chapter."

  "We won't be the only chapter writing, you know," Zacharias pointed out.

  "Of course not. But if we don't send a letter the doctor won't know we're interested in knowing the answer. I expect he'll put together a form letter and send it out to anybody who inquires."

  February, Jena

  Lips was happily sitting in the sun reading one of Phillip's up-time science textbooks when his light was suddenly cut off. He looked up to see the looming shapes of Fraus Beier and Mittelhausen, and Hans Saltzman blocking out the sun.

  "See, he is perfect for the job," Hans said.

  "Just because he reads the doctor's books doesn't mean he understands them," Frau Beier said.

  Lips used a bookmark to mark where he was and shut the book. "What job?"

  "The doctor is distracted by Frau Kastenmayerin's pregnancy, and is not giving his correspondence the attention it needs," Frau Beier said.

  "You want me to go through Phillip's mail?"

  "Only the letters that raise scientific concerns," Frau Mittelhausen said. "I will continue to manage the business correspondence."

  "But why me? Why not Hans? He knows much more about the new science than I do."

  "Because someone has to run the laboratories while the doctor is distracted, and besides, your Latin is much better than mine."

  "What is it I'm supposed to do?"

  "It is a very difficult task. Frau Beier or I would have sent Frau Hardesty a polite letter when she mistook the Sal Vin Betula for an up-time treatment for impotentia coeundi. The doctor saw an opportunity. You must take the doctor's place looking for opportunities."

  "But how am I supposed to do that? How does Phillip decide whether or not something is an opportunity or not?" Lips got three matching shrugs in reply.

  "Now you see why I don't want the job," Hans said

  ****

  Lips had thought the letters asking about color Kirlian photography lacked any possible opportunity for the company, but he had passed them onto Phillip anyway. There had been a feeling, coming mostly from Dina, that anything that could distract Phillip had to be tried.

  Phillip's reaction hadn't been what Lips had expected. Instead of intensifying the efforts to succeed with Autochrome, Phillip had decided to try to photograph Kirlian images with his special camera.

  Lips had provided the hand for the image, and it was still stinging as he sat down in the projection room to see what the Kirlian image looked like.

  It was a major disappointment. The screen was almost black. The only light showing on the screen was from scratches on the negatives. Phillip walked up to the image for a closer look. "Nothing! If we believed this image, we would be forced to conclude that your hand completely lacks an aura."

  "Perhaps the camera was too far away to detect the discharges?"

  Phillip studied the projected image for a few moments before shaking his head. "No, it seems my brilliant idea of using the three-color camera to record a Kirlian image has failed. We need to try something different."

  Lips moved to the windows and pulled open the heavy drapes. "What about replacing the paper with the film?" he said over his shoulder.

  "Well, the paper we left in the usual place to produce a Kirlian image for comparison purposes certainly recorded an image. But the film is just black and white, and we are trying to produce a color image."

  "What if we used filters?"

  "We have three filters, unless you are hoping to combine plates from three separate Kirlian images . . ."

  Lips realized Phillip was thinking of registering problems. Unless the photos exactly overlapped, the image just wouldn't work, and layering the filters would just stop light getting through to the lower plates.

  "No, Lips, what we need is plates sensitive to one or other of the primary colors."

  "Isn't that what we're trying to do with the Autochrome?"

  "Not quite. With the Autochrome, we are trying to make a single plate sensitive to each of the primary colors, whereas what I'm thinking is we sensitize three plates, each to a different color."

  ****

  They tried it with glass negatives first, because that's what they had for the camera. But that hadn't worked. The glass was acting as an insulator, and only the top plate registered anything. That had meant an urgent order had to be sent out for some cellulose acetate sheet-film. Fortunately, there had been a photographer in Jena who had some.

  Phillip held the last of the three still dripping negatives up to the red safety-light, and smiled. "We have an image on all three sheets. Now all we have to do is sensitize each sheet of film to a different color."

  "How are you planning on doing that?" Lips asked.

  "We send an order to Michael for some sheet cellulose acetate that we can apply our own, custom, emulsions onto. And we experiment until we have three dyed plates that give us a color image.

  March, Jena

  Lips arrived home from lectures to a surprise. The up-timer chemical engineer Phillip had been waiting for had finally arrived.

  "Lips, this is Lori Drahuta, she'll be staying in the apartment while she decides whether or not she wants to work at HDG Laboratories," Hans said.

  Lips looked enviously at the young woman. She was wearing fancy leather boots, blue jeans, a t-shirt with a fancy design on it, and a denim jacket. "Nice t-shirt."

  Lori looked down at the image of St. George defeating a wild dog on her t-shirt. "It's my own design."

  "How do you get the image onto the material? Did you paint it?"

  "You can, but this is silk-screen. I produced a number of them as a fundraiser for the rabies awareness program."

  That word sent a shiver through Lips. Rabies was a disease to be feared, even if the up-timers did have a treatment for it. "Is it the same as wood-block printing?"

  "No. If you're interested, I can show you how it's done."

  "Yes, please." Lips was definitely interested. He had visions of printing a t-shirt with the image of his hero. If he couldn't afford the jeans and jacket, he could at least afford a printed t-shirt.

  ****

  Lips had expected to dine alone, again. His brother was visiting friends, while Phillip was in Grantville with Dina, who'd given birth to a boy and a girl in the early hours of the twenty-ninth of February, and they were spending a few days in Grantville. Instead, he found the new girl sitting at the table. There was a moment of shock, then he remembered his duties as host. "Good evening, Frau Drahuta."

  "Please, make it Lori. And what do I call you?"

  My name is Phillip, but family call me Lips, Lori."

  "And I'm family?"

  "We certainly hope you will join the family here at HDG Laboratories."

  "Well, I hope I can fit in, although I was expecting to see Dr. Phil. Whoops!' Lori clapped her hands over her mouth. "Sorry, that just slipped out."

  "I haven't heard that name for Phillip before, where did you hear it?"

  "Ted and Tracy Kubiak. Apparently Ted started it. But it's not a sign of disrespect, honest. It's just the American tendency to give people nicknames, and well, back up-time there was some guy on TV who went by the
moniker of Dr. Phil."

  "Dr Phil." Lips tried it on his tongue. It came naturally. Almost more naturally than Phillip, and certainly much easier than Dr. Gribbleflotz, which, with his experience of up-timers, they would have found a bit of a tongue twister. "Why haven't I heard it before?"

  "I think it's just a pet name for Dr. Gribbleflotz within a tight group in the Kubiak family."

  "Well, I think Phillip would be happy for you to call him Dr. Phil."

  "I think I'll stick to Dr. Gribbleflotz until I get to know him better.

  Late March, Jena

  Phillip, Dina, and the babies, Jon and Salome, had arrived back in Jena to a hideous surprise. Phillip's mother, recently widowed-again-had turned up. And she wasn't a very nice person. Lips had tried to send a message before Phillip left Grantville, but he'd just missed him. What should have been a joyous homecoming had been ruined by Maria Elisabeth Bombast von Neuburg.

  Lips heard the heavy footsteps of Phillip's mother ringing through the apartment and tried to find somewhere to hide. Maria Elisabeth was an equal opportunity critic, and everybody was a legitimate target. Except for Lori Drahuta, who was an up-timer, and thus almost a noble.

  Maria Elisabeth burst into the room in all her painted glory. Dressed in age inappropriate colors and styles, and with enough white-lead on her face to sink one of the new ironclads, she was a sight to terrify even the bravest. Lips backed further into the corner he'd found when Phillip's mother burst in. She looked angry, again.

  "I don't know how I'm going to hold up my head," she said as she waved a letter under Phillip's nose. "Margaretha's Friedrich, such a hard working and successful boy, is now the personal alchemist to Ulrich of Ostfriesland." She glared at Phillip. "Why can't you have a noble patron?" she demanded. "Every great man needs a great patron, but not you, Theophrastus, you don't even have a patron. You are self-employed."

  "I might be self-employed, but I am still a successful alchemist. And I am much more successful than Friedrich Weiser."

  Lips nodded. That was telling her. The Great Stoner was probably the only alchemist in the world anywhere near as successful as Phillip.

  "Friedrich Weiser is a graduate of Tubingen. He not only has a Baccalaureus Artium, but he also has his Magister Artium. What do you have? Nothing, that's what you have!"

  "I have a doctorate," Phillip spat out.

  Maria Elisabeth was not impressed. "A doctorate from some university in the United Provinces nobody has heard of does not compare with degrees from Tubingen. Why, Tubingen has Johannes Kepler and Wilhelm Schickard amongst their alumni. Who does your university have?

  Lips knew the answer to that one. Nobody. The institution awarding Phillip's degree hadn't existed until 1632.

  "Kepler believed in astrology."

  There was outrage in Phillip's voice. His great grandfather, Paracelsus, hadn't believed in astrology, so neither did Phillip. Lips had heard him on the topic many times, which made one wonder how he felt about the use his Kirlian imagers were being put to.

  "He was imperial mathematician to Emperor Rudolph II, and if he was still living, would have the king of Bohemia as his patron." Suddenly Maria slapped Phillip. It was no love tap; Phillip was knocked off balance. "You are a grave disappointment, Theophrastus. What would Grandfather think?"

  Lips winced, not so much at the slap, but at the last bit of spleen Phillip's mother had vented before she stalked out. That had been a low blow. Paracelsus was Phillip's hero, to be a disappointment to Paracelsus . . . Lips hurried out to get Dina. Phillip needed serious comforting.

  ****

  "Something has to be done about that . . ." Words failed Lips.

  "Witch, bitch, cow," Lori suggested.

  Lips smiled. You could always trust Lori to lighten the mood. "Take your pick, but something has to be done. She's making Phillip miserable."

  "And she is upsetting Frau Kastenmayerin," Frau Mittelhausen said.

  Lips hadn't noticed any conflict between Dina and Phillip's mother, but he wasn't surprised. The daughter of a poor pastor wasn't something she could boast about to her friends back in Neuburg.

  "What about poison? I'm sure there are plenty of possibilities," Lori suggested.

  "It's something to dream about, but it probably wouldn't work. I mean, Lead oxide is supposed to be toxic, but you've seen how much she puts on."

  "That's lead oxide? I thought it was zinc oxide. Maybe she hasn't been using it for long," Lori suggested.

  "Phillip says she was painting her face with white lead even before he left for the school of mines in Fugger," Lips said.

  "Painting? She's putting the stuff on with a trowel by the looks of it. But you're right. If she hasn't gone down with lead poisoning after all this time, what chance is there for success with anything else?"

  ****

  Christoph Seidel stood outside the HDG Laboratories facility at Jena and wondered just how he was supposed to persuade Dr. Gribbleflotz, the owner of the facility before him, to move to Prague to serve as King Venceslas V Adalbertus of Bohemia's personal aural investigator. Normally, such a question wouldn't arise, as the social cachet of being treated by someone so close to the king would have the rich and powerful beating a way to his door, but Dr. Gribbleflotz wasn't normal. Money alone was not going to entice him to make the move; he had more than enough of it already.

  To make a poor case even worse, neither the Catholic courtiers nor the Calvinist courtiers were likely to show much enthusiasm for the king's introducing a close personal adviser of the Lutheran persuasion into the court. Again, normally that would be a minor problem, just as long as the doctor wasn't overly enthusiastic in his religion. However, Dr. Gribbleflotz had married a Lutheran pastor's daughter, and was therefore undoubtedly personally deeply religious.

  ****

  "Run that past me again," Phillip asked his visitor. "You are asking me to move to Prague to act as the King of Bohemia's aural investigator? Why me? Surely there are plenty of aural investigators already in Prague?"

  Lips was busy holding on to his chair to stop himself jumping up and down. Here was the perfect opportunity for Phillip to finally silence his harping mother. He couldn't believe the polite boredom in Phillip's expression. He should be dancing on the table and swinging from the rafters, but no, he was just sitting there listening with polite disinterest.

  "But none of them are able to do color." Christoph raised a hand and snapped his fingers. One of the servants who'd accompanied him stepped forward and opened a large leather bag before stepping back. Christoph started to stack bundles of USE paper money on the table. "One month's stipend in advance." Then he started on another pile. "And enough to cover your removal expenses."

  Lips had virtually no experience of handling money, and certainly no experience with the quantities the man had just placed on Phillip's desk. However, he had learned how to estimate the mass of objects based on their size and composition. Each pile looked like half a kilogram of paper, and if the rest of the bills in the piles were the same denomination as those on the top, then each bundle represented fifty thousand dollars. He licked his suddenly dry lips. Even a small part of one of those piles would be enough to buy the clothes of his dreams.

  "I must consult my wife," Phillip said.

  Lips wasn't the only shocked face in the room when Phillip walked out. There was a hundred thousand dollars on that desk and Phillip had completely ignored it. Well, Lips knew his job as host in Phillip's absence. "Would you like some refreshments while we await Dr. Gribbleflotz' return?"

  ****

  "I don't understand," Lori protested. "I thought Dr. Phil didn't believe in Kirlian Image Interpretation."

  Lips glanced over at Hans, who'd been sticking to the up-timer like glue. He'd jerked back, making protection from evil hand-signs. Lips settled for gently shaking his head and looking very disappointed, very much like one of his teachers when he'd failed to grasp a concept.

  "Well, that's what he told me," Lori said, gest
uring to Hans. "And now you're saying he's planning to drop everything he's got going here in Jena and high-tail it to Prague to be the personal aural investigator to some king. How can he do that if he doesn't believe in it?"

  "HDG Laboratories will continue to operate. Hans will still be here, and my brother Martin will take over Frau Mittelhausen's job of running the commercial side of the business."

  "Still," Lori said, "why would he want to give all this up to move to Prague?"

  "Frau Bombast," Hans said.

  Lips nodded. "That's right, Phillip's mother. It's especially attractive because the king who is employing Phillip used to employ Johannes Kepler. And more importantly, when he employed Kepler he was only a general, but now, of course, he is a king."

  "What's so important about working for a king?" Lori asked.

  "Herr Weiser's patron is merely a Graf," Hans said.

  "Oh, one-upmanship and social climbing, I wouldn't have thought Dr. Phil was overly interested in doing that?"

  "But his mother is. All will be forgiven if her son has a king for a patron, and more importantly, Frau Bombast will return home a happy woman," Lips said.

  "It seems a bit extreme just to get rid of one woman," Lori said.

  "Frau Bombast is no ordinary woman. Almost anything is to be considered when the reward is getting rid of that female," Hans said.

  "How long do you think it'll take before she finds out?" Lori asked.

  "Not very long," Hans said. "Someone, who shall remain nameless, but is in this room, escorted Herr Seidel's party to the inn where Frau Bombast is residing."

  Lips modestly burnished his nails. That had been a brainwave. No doubt the men would talk about their purpose in Jena. "The story should be all around the city by morning."

  "Well, if it is, you'd better be ready to reassure all the people who depend on Dr. Phil," Lori said. "They'll probably worry that the business will shut down if he isn't here."

  That was something Lips hadn't thought of. He rose from the table. "I'd better have a few words with Frau Mittelhausen. She'll probably send a few of the girls shopping."